HEART 2 HEART, TALK

Thursday, June 23, 2011, 9:03 AM

The clock needle is currently pointed sharply on 12 a.m, so bye2 Thursday and HELLO FRIDAY. I just did my homework, which was "so-so" only. There are plenty more left. I haven't read my PA notes yet (TT^TT) Screw you Yasmin if the teacher ask you to answer his question tomorrow, habislah kau. DO, OR DIE !!!!!!!!!!! (a quote from him which makes me realised something)

These passed few days, I've been thinking about myself, a lot. Who is ME? Why am I so different in school but not at home..? Why I am soo awkward in school? It's too obvious. I know some of my friends noticed that. Kalau aku x cover, they will find me a weird and annoying person. But heyy don't you think too much Yasmin-Don't-Know? You create the barrier yourself so your friends won't talk to you. You just don't know because you are not trying to approach them, socialize with them and LET OUT YOUR TRUE VOICE TO THEM. You are afraid of hates, you are afraid of negative perceptions from your friends, you just don't want them to see you as a weird person. So in order to cover all that, you make yourself a 'perfectionist' in front of people whereas you only make yourself look.. weirder. A-totally-weirderrrr.

Sitting at the table, in my class. Thinking about people around me, what will they think of me if I do 'this' and do 'that'. What shall/should I do now? Are they watching me? Staring at me? Observing me? WHY? Am I too weird? Did I do something wrong? SEE? I keep mentioning, repeating the same thing. WEIRD.

I thanked Allah, for giving me a sis who always motivates me. You know, she gives me a lot of advices when I'm in trouble or having problems. More to, EMOTIONS PROBLEMS. She got the best positive thinking. "APE AKU KISAH? AKU PEDULI APE? LANTAK LA ORG NAK CKP APE PUN" She keep mentioning those words which keeps me at ease. Hehe dia x jemu bagi nasihat walaupun dia ckp dia menyampah sbb aku banyak kali berhadapan dgn problem yg same je, xde yg lain. LACK OF SELF CONFIDENCE lah kau.

Anyway, pelik sgt ke org tgk kite? Bukan ke normal tu? Cume yg tak normalnye, dia cakap buruk pasal kite dekat org lain/org sebelah. Tu memg THIDAK NORHMAL. LHANTAK DIORANGLHA NAHK CHAKAP AFE2 FUN. YG FENTING ANDA ADALAH DHIRI ANDA. Hepikan dhiri anda dan bersuara jika thidak fuas hati. Biarkan kata2 dusta mereka itu kembali pada diri mereka sendiri, anda x payah nak down sgt sbb dunia ni memg ada pelbagai jenis manusia yg memg berbagai ragam-nyah. So yg negative tu dah memg negative nak buat macam mana. Anda saja yg kena BE POSITIVE utk kekangi masalah ini.(yaaa saya cuba create kata2 semangat utk diri saya sendirihh)

I'll stop here. Tak boleh nak fikir ape2 dah. Nite2 :))

Labels: My Life Story